


That's what you call Irony...

by Nanerich



Series: Ironfam [10]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comedy of Errors, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Harley and Peter are damn idiots, In a way, Lot of Fun though, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tony Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: After finishing HIgh School, Harley comes to New York, to live and work at SI. As much as he loved working with Tony, he seemed hellbent on finding Harley a date.Luckily, he meets this really cute guy, Peter, who was willing to be his pretend boyfriend, so he could get the mechanic off his back.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Ironfam [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528625
Comments: 22
Kudos: 510
Collections: ellie marvel fics - read





	That's what you call Irony...

“Dude, going to the Museum of Science and Technology used to be a bit more interesting when we were kids”, Peter whispered quietly to Ned.

“No, it wasn't, but working with Ironman and being a scientific impossibility yourself, you're just too spoiled. And now shut it, I want to listen.” With that, Ned turned back to the front where a museum attendee told them something or other about the mechanics of... something. Or maybe something else, Peter wasn't really paying attention. Yes, he loved going to museums and the experimenting areas were kind of fun, but until they got to that point, they still had some listening to do.

Lost in his thoughts, Peter strayed a bit form the group and inspected an old Ironman suit. Mark VIII, Peter was pretty sure of that, since he was there, when that bit of circuitry that was displayed was created, scratch that, Peter was the one who had build that thing; when Mr Stark told him that Mark VIII would be displayed, Peter had extra snuck into the lab the night before the exhibition and carved his initials into the wire board. Mr Stark probably knew, but hadn't said anything.

“Show-off”, MJ murmured, as she pushed past him, all that as usual without looking up from her book. And, if Peter didn't know her the way he did, he would have probably missed the little proud grin she tried to hide there.

Yes, Peter had endlessly boasted to Ned, MJ, Aunt May and all the Avengers and it was one of the greatest joys that his work was actually in a museum. Not that anybody'd know it was his work, but still. Peter knew, and that was enough to make his chest warm with pride. Having basked in the glory for long enough, Peter turned to join his class again and bumped right into somebody else.

“Sorry, shit, I'm so sorry!”, Peter apologized as he took a quick step back.

“I'm just as much to blame”, the other guy smiled and kneeled down to pick up Peter's notepad that he had dropped. “Here you go”, he offered it, in a quite nice Southern drawl.

“Thanks”, Peter grinned back and cursed himself for the blush that crept up his cheeks right now. One nice looking guy shooting him a beautiful smile like that, and all of Peter's eloquence was out the window. Fine, admittedly, Peter wasn't all that eloquent when he wasn't flustered, but still.

“I'm Harley by the way”, the guy smiled, still holding Peter's notebook.

“Peter.”

“It's nice to meet you, Peter.” That really was a beautiful smile...

“You part of a tour or...?”

“No, I'm here by myself. New in town, you know? Just finding my way around the city, checking out the sights and stuff.”

“Cool”, Peter grinned back, “did you come here for school, then?” Harley didn't look all that much older than Peter.

“I just finished high school”, he explained. “For now I'm with a friend, who got me a job here so I could get some work experience, before I go off to College.”

“Great friend.”

“PETER!” His teacher's calling interrupted their talk.

“Sorry, gotta go. But hey”, he added, “if you on the lookout for some non-work friends to get to know the city...”

“I might just take you up on that offer”, Harley grinned. He flipped the notepad open and wrote down his phone number, before handing it over to Peter. “If you know of anything fun going on, give me a message.”

“I will”, Peter nodded and once again, blushed as intensely as his spider suit. “Right. See you 'round then, Harley.”

Peter jogged over to where his class was heading into the next showroom, but just before he too disappeared through the doors, he turned one more time, to find Harley waving at him.

* * *

“Harley”, he was greeted when walking back into the Avenger's common room. “How was your day in the city?”

“Pretty good”, he grinned at Tony. _Met someone cute..._ But that wasn't something he could just tell the mechanic right away, he would tease Harley for the next twenty years if he did.

“Good for you then. You hungry?”

“Nah, I already ate.”

“What do you say then, a round of lab before Pepper forces us to go to bed?”

“Yeah, sounds perf...” His ringing phone interrupted him.

.

 **Unknown number:** Hey Harley, it's Peter. Was just wondering: what's your stance on Lego?

 **Harley:** I love Lego!

 **Peter:** Great, because my friend Ned just got the Millenium Falcon set and maybe you wanna work with us on that?

 **Harley:** Sounds good! Text me when and where and I'll be there

 **Peter:** *thumbs up*

.

“Keener? You coming?”

“Yeah, sorry.” He put his phone away and tried his damnedest not to grin too much like an idiot that only a few hours after meeting him, Peter already checked in.

He didn't need to look up at Tony to know that the mechanic had his eyebrow raised. But he stayed quiet, only looked at Harley and – unsuccessfully – tried to bite down his smirk.

“Right, let's get back to work!”

* * *

“So, how long have you been in New York?”, Ned asked, as he reappeared from the carton of Legos.

“Today actually makes two weeks”, Harley answered after counting the days and weeks. It was only slightly adorable that he used his fingers for that. “And this is how you spend your Saturdays?”

“Uh, mostly, yeah...” Ned and Peter exchanged a quick look. It wasn't like Peter could tell the new guy about his arachnid-powered extra curriculars.

“But you're not into Lego.” He turned to MJ, who was sprawled out on the couch, having her nose in her book.

“Because I'm not a loser”, she made clear, not bothering to look over, though.

“Cool.” He turned back to Peter with a wide grin. “I like her.”

“You'll get over that”, MJ deadpanned. Peter was pretty sure that behind the book she was biting down her grin.

“Sure thing”, Harley chuckled, and back to work they went, getting to know each other, joking and the afternoon flew by. Until Harley's phone rang.

“Hey mechanic”, he answered it, after shrugging apologetically. “I told you I'm out. With friends. Yes, I do. No, I didn't make them up! Dude, I'm gonna hang up on you, if you don't stop this shit. Oh yes, I'll do it. Fine.” And like that, he hang up on the call and put his phone away again.

“Sorry, just my boss”, he explained.

“You talk like this to your boss?” The boys looked at him with wide eyes, even MJ glanced over her book.

“He's cool enough for that.”

Harley was just about to explain a bit further, when Peter's phone rang. Mr Stark. Well, he maybe shouldn't shock the new kid with the father-like relationship he had with Ironman, but if he didn't answer, Tony would probably fly to Ned's place, given that he had Peter chipped, in probably no time at all.

“Sorry, that's my... mentor”, he apologized and answered the call.

“Hey.”

“Pete, hey, how are you doing? You out patrolling?”

“No, I'm at Ned's, we're building the Millenium Falcon.”

“Right, your nerd stuff.” Hm, Tony sounded somewhat off.

“You alright?”, he asked, only slightly worried about him.

“Yeah, just had some kind of.. thing with another intern. And I wanted to make sure that you at least still love me.”

Peter could only roll his eyes, but smiled as he answered: “S'pose I do...”

“Wow. What a ringing endorsement... You coming by tomorrow then?”

“May's off work, we're having a day in.”

“No patrolling all weekend? I'm getting worried, you're actually turning into a responsible young adult.”

“Haha”, Peter deadpanned and only shook his head. Harley opposite him shot him some curious grins and Peter could only shrug back. “If I do, I'll call.”

“Appreciated. Right then, let me let you get back to your nerd-club.”

“Right. Oh and, by the way, I do love you.”

“Damnit, Pete”, Mr Stark got out after a few moments of silence. “I have a reputation! But yeah, I love you, too.”

“Call ended”, FRIDAY announced and Peter put his phone away, with a wide smile.

“Sorry. My mentor... He tends to have attention issues, meaning, he needs more than he can sometimes get.”

“Understatement”, MJ snorted.

“My boss is the same way.” Harley patted Peter's arm and smiled understandingly. “I get how you feel.”

.

It had been a few weeks since Peter and Harley met. The new kid regularly joined in on their Lego dates, and during the week, they spend more and more time together, time, that usually would have ended up as patrolling or lab time with Mr Stark. So, during a rather quiet day of stopping currently non-existent crime, Peter was more than happy when his mentor called.

“Hey Mr Stark”, Peter called out, as he sat on a roof top, letting his feet dangle.

“You patrolling?”

“That sounds more like a statement than a question”, Peter shot back, knowing full well, that Mr Stark probably looked at his location right now.

“How was Lego?”

Peter was very aware that Tony did not deny the accusations, but shrugged it of. “Was fun. We finished the Millenium Falcon!” Peter really wanted to tell Mr Stark about Harley, wanted to tell him for weeks. But the man knew him too well, two sentences in and Peter's little crush would be as plain as a bright orange elephant, dancing the cancan in a purple – green skirt.

“Wow, your story telling makes me feel like I was right there with you”, he scoffed.

“Sorry... I just know you don't really like Lego.”

“But you do, ergo it's important to me, too.”

“Aww, Mr Stark!”, Peter cooed, “your boring business stuff is important to me, too.”

“Thanks, kid”, he chuckled drily. “Means the world. But I'm serious, it seems like I haven't seen you in forever and just want to catch up.”

“You joined me on patrol only two days ago.”

“Right, but we haven't worked together in the lab in almost two months”, Tony moped.

“I know, I hate it, too”, Peter nodded. “I'm sorry that I'm so busy.”

“Not your fault”, Tony assured him, “last year of high school and being this city's favourite superhero is a lot. You're gonna come to the SI Halloween party though, right?”

“Like I'd miss that!” He already had been last year, where Thor came dressed as a unicorn. It was the most fun, ever.

“Good, I should hope so!”

“Well, then, let me let you get back to saving the city.” As Harley walked into the lab, Tony was on the phone, waving at Harley as he saw him. “Yes. Of course...” He rolled his eyes, but with the fondest smile. “Right then. You too.”

“Harley.” After hanging up, Tony turned to him.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, Spider-Man's just a bit of a pain in my ass... But so are you”, he added with a smirk.

“The universe will have its reasons for putting us in your path.”

“The universe is an asshole”, Tony made clear and nodded at Harley. “Come on, there's work to be done here.”

Harley tried to focus on the potato gun, he really did. But there were some brown curls, and hazel eyes that just didn't want to leave his mind. It was ridiculous, he'd known Peter for like seven weeks (and three days, but who was counting?) and he already had a crush on that guy. pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

“I'm being incredibly intelligent over here and you don't seem to give two shits. What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong, just caught in my thoughts.”

“Mhm... Thinking about something specific?” Tony's suggestive tone, paired with that smirk could only mean that Tony knew that Harley was crushing, hard.

“No, not really”, he lied, hopefully good enough for the mechanic to let it be.

“Right then.” Clearly, he did not buy one bit of it, but changed the subject nonetheless. “I told you about the Halloween party, right?”

“You did. I'm so looking forward already!”, he beamed up.

“Well, question. Do you have a date?”

“A date? Why do I need a date for the Halloween party?”

“Me and Pepper, Steve and Barnes, Clint and Laura...”

“Yeah, I got it”, Harley interrupted it. “But it's not like it's only couples, right?” Harley did not want to do that to himself, especially not since he had his own crush to nurse.

“Right then, if you don't have a date, there's this intern, in the robotics department. She's smart, sweet and...”

“And a she...”, Harley threw in. They never had the talk about his sexuality, but well, maybe now was the right time.

“Oh. Alright then, there's this other intern, he's a first semester business student, really cute too, smart and...”

“And thanks, but no.”

“Ok, then how about the guy in HR who took care of your paperwork?”

“Had a picture of a girl with hearts around it on his desk.”

“Fine.” Tony did not relent, apparently he was hell bent on finding Harley a date. “Oh, Marcus, he's an aspiring engineer, definitely gay, has a rainbow pin on his bag. And I'm pretty sure he's single and...”

“I'm already seeing someone”, Harley blurted out. Fuck. Yes, it was the only way to shut the mechanic up, but still. It was a lie.

“Wait, you are?” Tony's grimace turned from confusion, to somehow more confusion. “Who? When? What... Why did you never tell me?”

“Because you can get a little intense and I wanted to make sure that we're good, before telling you.”

“Huh.” Tony fell back on the bench, silent, pensive for a little while, before a grin broke out. “I really am an idiot, I should have known. For weeks you've been, well, not weird per se, but... Doesn't matter”, the mechanic interrupted himself. “Tell me about him! What's he like, how did you meet, how long...”

“Woah, woah, take it down a notch, will ya?” Harley raised his hands at Tony. “We met at the Science Museum, I gave him my number, he texted and we went out.”

“I want to meet him! Can I?”

Uhm, that would be a little difficult, since he did not know they were dating. His and Peter's story was just the only one in Harley's head. And now he had to convince Peter to be his fake boyfriend to meet the one and only Ironman, Tony Stark, who Peter actually had a poster of in his room!

“I'll talk to him, alright?”

“Sure. Sorry, I don't want to be pushy”, Tony apologized and put his arm around Harley's shoulder. “I just... You know, you can come to me with those things. If there are any issues, any questions or something, I'm happy to talk with you about... feelings and shit.”

“I really appreciate that, but I feel that speech would have felt more human if it came from Dum-E.” He raised an eyebrow at him and Tony's face just dropped.

“I'm trying here.” He took a deep breath. “My dad never really showed me any support and I'm just trying to break the cycle of shame. I mean what I just said.”

“Thanks”, Harley smiled and leaned against the mechanic. “Means the world.”

“Good. Now, I'm done talking feelings, unless there is something you want to say or ask.”

“Nah, I'm good. Could do with a bit of engineering, though.”

.

 **Harley:** Hey man, can we meet up?

 **Peter:** Like, right now?

 **Harley:** Yeah... That cool?

 **Peter:** Sure. Usual coffee shop?

 **Harley:** See you there *thumbs up*

.

“Came as fast as I could!”, Peter grinned as he jogged into the café, where Harley already sat in their regular booth, with Peter's regular cherry-chocolate milkshake. “Aw, thanks man”, he smiled and slid in opposite his friend, pushing down the excited flutter that Harley knew his order.

“You look pretty winded. Did you run all the way here?”

 _No, I swung._ “No”, he shook his head. “Getting a big head, are you?”

“Well, maybe, because you might not want to spend all that much time with me after I told you what's up.”

“Huh.” Peter searched Harley's face for clues, but found nothing but a contrite blush. “What's up then?”

“Yeah, well, so... My boss tried to set me up with everybody at the firm, and the only way I knew to shut him up was to tell him that I'm already seeing someone.”

Oh, Peter just had the hunch of an idea where this was heading.

“I didn't mention any names, but you're the only one who I know well enough to have a chance of pulling this of with.”

“So, you want to fake-date me?”, Peter summarized.

“I do.”

And Peter's heart skipped all the beats and dropped at the same time. He could be together with Harley, but none of it would be real. Peter had read too many fanfics and seen too many romcoms to think this could be a good idea. And yet...

“Sure.”

“Really?” Harley's eyes went wide and a smile spread from ear to ear. “You would be my pretend boyfriend so I can get my boss off my back?”

“Sounds like fun”, Peter shrugged, hoping his grin didn't look as forced as it felt.

“And I promise, it's gonna be one evening every now and then, not too much.”

“So he really wants to meet me?”

“We're quite close”, Harley offered as explanation. “But I'll make sure that it won't happen too often.”

Two days later, Peter and Harley were back at the coffee shop, here to be a couple and meet Harley's boss.

“Ok, I don't want you to be uncomfortable, so we don't need to do anything you don't want to do”, Harley assured him.

“Same with you”, Peter shrugged. “I can get, well, affectionate when I like someone. And luckily I like you enough to snuggle it up”, he added with a grin. Well, he not only liked Harley enough to touch him, but so much that he couldn't wait for Harley's arm around his shoulder, holding his hand, side against side... Oh, this was such a horrible idea.

“Alright, he's here”, Harley announced as a car stopped in front of the coffee shop, a weirdly familiar car. “Just one more thing. I know I didn't tell you until now who my boss is, because I know you're quite the fan.”

Shit. This was Mr Stark's car. FUCK!

“Omigod.” Peter turned beet-red and turned away. But there was no place to hide in this freaking coffee shop! Fuck, what did they get themselves into?

“Don't be nervous”, Harley whispered over, completely misreading the situation, “he's a lot less intense than you'd think.”

Peter hid his face in his hands as the door chimes rang when Tony walked into the coffee shop.

“Harley. And I assume that must be your paramour?” Oh fuck, FUCK!

“Yeah”, Harley grinned and grabbed Peter's hand, pulling him to face Mr Stark. “Tony, this is...”

“Pete?”

“Hi Mr Stark”, Peter mumbled, just hoping a hole would open in the ground and swallow him whole. Alternatively he wouldn't mind turning invisible. Or maybe the sun could explode, Peter was flexible.

“So I guess you two know each other”, Harley commented looking from one to the other.

“Yeah, so you remember that mentor I kept telling you about?”

“Oh.” Harley blushed similarly intense as Peter did, as the realization hit that this was not going to be over after one or two dinners.

Tony just stared from one to the other with wide eyes.

“Yeah, uhm, so Mr Stark”, Peter mumbled, realizing that he never actually came out to his mentor, “I'm bisexual.”

“Oh, fuck, this is a disaster”, Harley muttered under his breath; without his spider hearing Peter would probably not have heard it.

Tony was still speechless, uncomfortably so. And Peter just had to do something to break the silence. He didn't have to, though, as Tony burst out laughing, loud and heartily.

“Right.” Neither of the teens knew how to react or to interpret his laughter.

“I'm sorry, boys. I really am. This is just priceless.” Tony put a hand on each of their shoulders. “I knew you two were hiding something from me, I just didn't expect it to be each other.”

This was so fucking surreal. And this was gonna be horrible.

Eventually they managed to sit themselves down, Harley and Peter on one side of the booth, Tony on the other, not leaving them out of sight. And it was so awkward. Neither Harley nor Peter dared to touch the other and the blush on Peter's face didn't seem to die down. Not even the cold milkshake helped against the heat.

“So, I guess that'd make you the Peter I've heard so much about”, Harley eventually remarked.

“And you're the potato-gun-kid then, huh?”, Peter shot back.

“You two've been dating for what, a month? And you never figured out that you're both my pain-in-the-ass teens?”

“We did not.”

“How? I mean, I'm basically the best thing in either of your lives, so that should have come up.”

There was only one way to get out of this mostly unscathed, and that was to get back with as much sass as Peter could muster up. “Well, I guess it's safe to say that the best thing in my life is Harley.”

Next to him, Harley jumped and blushed a little. It was so adorable, Peter could just cup those cheeks and... No, not in front of Mr Stark. And not at all, because none of this was really real, was it?

“Well. I already prepared my 'you better do right by my Harley'-speech. But since it's pretty much the same as my 'you better do right by my Peter'-speech, I feel like it's a little superfluous.” As the humour of the situation ebbed away, Tony looked somewhat concerned. “Maybe I need my coffee Irish...”

“You're sober”, both boys answered in unison.

“I'm your boss, not the other way around.”

“We'll tell Pepper.”

“You little shits...” Tony pointed at the two with his eyebrows raised. “Damnit, you two really deserve each other.”

Harley grinned over at Peter, similarly skew as Peter felt. “Yeah, I think we might.”

.

“You tell him?”, Tony mumbled, as Harley got up and got the 'lovebirds' another set of milkshakes.

“Not yet”, Peter whispered back, blushing again. He was in a fake relationship with a guy he really crushed on and kept half his identity a secret from him. This was just destined for absolute disaster.

“You think it's wise to keep secrets in a relationship?”

_You mean like lying to your father figure about dating his other pseudo-son?_

Peter just shrugged. “Up until an hour ago, I thought I could keep him away from all the Avengers madness. But since that ain't gonna happen...”

“I'll keep my mouth shut, if that's what you want.”

“Thanks”, he nodded and shot his mentor a smile, probably the realest and most heartfelt smile all afternoon.

“Right”, Tony nodded as Harley scooted back into the booth. “I think I'll leave you two to your date and...” He pointed from Harley to Peter. “Damnit. Which of you do I need to tell to behave and have my guy home by ten pm?”

“Since I'm the legally grown-up, I'll look after Peter”, Harley grinned and Peter just pulled a grimace.

“Right...” Tony did not look convinced, but shrugged nonetheless. “Well, both of you behave yourselves and act right with my guy.”

“We love you, too”, Peter smiled and with a last grin, Tony turned around and left the 'boyfriends' by themselves. As soon as the car drove off, Peter just dropped his head on the table. How could his life get even more mixed up?

“So, that just happened”, Harley eventually stated.

“And thusly ending the 'only once or twice' idea, making us proper boyfriends.”

“I feel like we didn't properly think this through...”

“No shit...” Peter looked back up at Harley who shot him a skew grin. “Well, suppose we're officially dating.”

“Yeah...” Oh, how much Peter wished that could be true... “Guess next time you're round my place, we'll tell my aunt.”

“And we could come out to the Avengers at the Halloweenparty.”

“That the party 'your boss' tried to hook you up with a date?”

“Yup.”

Huh. Why didn't Tony push for Peter to bring a date to the party? That was something he could ask his mentor another time. “I mean, Couple's Costumes are kinda fun”, Peter grinned.

“I guess they are”, Harley giggled. “How about C3PO and R2D2?”

“Oh, I love that! Or PB and J.”

“Cookies and Milk.”

“Ken and Ken.”

“The couple from the American Gothic painting!”

“Thing 1 and Thing 2.”

“I got it.” Harley's face lit up in the most excited grimace. “I saw this tumblr post, right? About shipping Tony with the Ironmansuit, shipname Irony.”

“Omigod.” Peter burst out laughing. “Yes, yes, definitely!” Given how ironic their relationship was, it was the perfect costume.

“Only issue: the party is in two weeks. Do you really think we can build an entire Ironmansuit by then?”

“Well, if we want to piss of Tony, we should get the cheapest, most ugly costume on Amazon we can find”, Peter grinned, feeling the deviousness surging through him... It was a good feeling, maybe he should someday try the whole super villain thing...

“Peter, you are like the most amazing person”, Harley beamed. “I could kiss you right now! I mean, if we were like really dating, or... you know...” He blushed intensely, prompting Peter to blush along.

_Just kiss me, already!_

“Yeah, I get it.”

_I'm getting infatuated with you, but this is just pretend, I get that. I would really like to be your boyfriend, but I'm just your alibi to get Mr Stark off your case, I get that. And instead of doing the smart thing, saying no and being honest with you, I'm apparently enough of a masochist to do all that to myself, I really definitely get it._

Peter's phone buzzing interrupted the weird silence, and Peter was endlessly grateful.

.

 **Ned:** [picture of Doc Ock]

 **Ned:** just saw it in the news, he's trying to take down brooklyn bridge

.

Shit, Peter had to get there, but without Harley knowing what's up...

“Listen, sorry, that's my Aunt. I need to go, that alright?”

“Sure thing. I'll text you later, ok?”

“Yeah”, Peter grinned, and hurried outside, into the nearest alley way to change. He definitely needed a nanotech suit like the newest Ironman suit, this hiding behind dumpsters and changing really sucked. “KAREN, put an automated suit on my ideas list.”

“Entry saved”, she announced and Peter jumped up and all but flew over the streets of New York.

He arrived at the scene around the same time as Mr Stark.

“Had to cut your date short, huh?”, he grinned, well, probably grinned, Peter couldn't tell with the mask on, but he knew his mentor well enough.

“Can we please focus on the fight?”

“Kid, you alright?” At Peter's harsh tone, Tony's voice went soft, concerned. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to pry.”

“Well, I just had to lie to my boyfriend.” Woah, that felt weird to say out loud... “And that freaking sucked.”

“I get that”, Mr Stark nodded as he shot off one of Octopus' arms.

“I mean, do I tell him?”, Peter asked as he webbed together two more arms and ducked just in time before being decked by arm 4.

“I mean, I know that Harley's quite the Spidey-fan. About as much of a fanboy as you are towards me...” Peter definitely heard the smug grin and was this close to shut down the communication between them.

“Honestly, doesn't look too good for you right now”, Peter scoffed and flipped out of the way of a metal arm, unfortunately right into the next one. “FUCK!” The arm hit him right across the chest, robbing him momentarily of breath and he dropped to the ground like a bag of potatoes.

“Shit, kid, you alright?” Mr Stark swooped in, took Peter a bit away to safety.

“What do you think?” Oh, that was gonna be very blue and purple by tonight. Didn't feel like his ribs got too much of a hit and, once he caught his breath again, he jumped back to his feet. “I'm alright”, he made clear as Ironman moved to inspect him, probably already thinking about swaddling him in blankets and shit. But Doc Ock still had four functioning arms, that motioned to toss a car off the bridge. At least his focus was off Peter and Tony and with webs and repulsors blasting, they managed to get him down in one swift swoop, just before that car, driven by an elderly couple, was pushed off the bridge.

“Are you alright?” While Mr Stark took care of the doc, Peter looked after the couple behind the wheel.

“Uhm, I think so...” The woman looked at Peter with wide eyes. “Thank you, young man. You saved our lives.”

“That's what I'm here for”, he smiled.

“Right then, kid. I'll take care of the mess, you get yourself checked out.” Tony gestured at his chest. “I can call up the medbay. “

“Or I'll go home, where Aunt May can look after me. She's a nurse, remember?”

“Right... And there won't be a certain boyfriend there, who might otherwise find out about your hobbies.”

Of course Mr Stark was completely right. Peter hated going to May with injuries, she was always so worried and he hated worrying his Aunt. But maybe running into Harley, who would find out that Peter had lied to him, and then even their fake relationship would end... No, he'd rather take his chances with his aunt.

“There also won't be a certain mentor”, Peter shot back, putting as much sarcasm and annoyance in his voice as he could, “who keeps on pestering me about my love life.”

That shut Mr Stark up, who eventually just waved him off. “Fine, go home. But you at least message me once Aunt hottie gave you the once over.”

“I will.” He gave his mentor the thumbs up and took off. Which hurt. So freaking much. When he finally climbed in through his window, he could let out all the pent up groans of pain, immediately bringing his aunt into his room.

“I do not like that sound one bit. Off with that thing.” She gestured at his suit and Peter complied.

“Doc Ock”, he explained, “swung into one of those arms.”

Peter didn't look down his chest, Aunt May's wide eyes were enough to know that it looked about as bad as it felt.

“Peter, how the hell am I supposed to feel alright to let you out on the street if you keep coming back looking like this...” She gently pushed him down to sit on his bed and cautiously patted his chest. “Doesn't feel like anything's broken, probably contused though. Wait, I got some stuff.”

She left to get the lotion and Peter dropped on his back.

That were some fucked-up few hours. Seriously, what the fuck did Peter get himself into? And he didn't even bother that much about the octopus-arm-shaped bruise, it was more thee knot inside his chest that sucked.

He and Harley really had to be a couple now. A real couple, even though everything was fake.

“Here, that should help with the...”

“May, I'm in a relationship”, he blurted out, great, lying to the next person he loved.

“Oh?” The worry on her face made way for a curious smile. She sat next to him on the bed, stayed silent, but looked all expectantly.

“Harley and me, we're... we're a thing.”

“Finally”, May smiled and carefully put her arm around his shoulder, making sure not to hurt him. “You've been crushing on that boy since you met him.”

Fuck, May really could read him like an open book. Of course she knew he was into him, probably from the moment he first mentioned Harley, his feelings were completely obvious to her.

“Yeah, I guess I did”, Peter admitted. “But well... He's really close with his boss and he wanted us to meet. So we met this afternoon.”

“I assume there's a big thing coming...”

“Yeah, so it's Tony. Stark. Who apparently is to Harley what he's to me.”

“Oh wow.” May started laughing and shot him the widest smile, once she had calmed a little more. “This... Peter, I'm sorry for laughing, but this is something that could only happen to you.”

And the damn truth was so much worse...

“I'm definitely happy for you and Harley. He seems like a wonderful guy that will treat my wonderful kid just right”, she smiled, pulling Peter a little closer against her side.

“He does.” Peter couldn't help his eyes lighting up. And sure, even if it wasn't real, Peter could just indulge in all that lovey-doveyness and at least pretend that it was true. “He's so funny and smart and genuine and I mean, he's so good looking as well and he's nice, and...” He beamed up at his aunt. “I'm really smitten.”

“That you are. So, if he works with Tony, does he know?”

And here it was again, that shitty feeling in his stomach, so much worse than the bruise on his chest. He just silently shook his head and put his head on her shoulder.

“What does Tony think?”

“That there shouldn't be any secrets in a relationship but that it's ultimately up to me.”

“And what do you think?”

“That I don't want to do to him what I do to you, to Mr Stark, to Ned and MJ.” He glanced up to find her eyes locked unto him. “He's only gonna worry. And I hate that I worry you so much and... I don't know, I'm scared I guess.”

“Scared that he'll be hurt you didn't tell him?”

“That”, Peter nodded, “and also... I don't know, I just don't want to burden him.”

May stayed silent, just nodded, and put a kiss on his head. “If you want to talk about it, you can always come to me, you know that, right?”

“Thanks.”

“Good. Now, let's see what we can do about that horrific bruise.”

* * *

Fuck, Harley was nervous. Peter was on his way to the compound; they'd tinker in the lab with Tony around, meaning they had to be a couple. And a convincing one at that. The mechanic knew both of them well enough to read every little hesitation and he would be watching the boys like a hawk.

Playing the part... Harley was pretty sure he would have no issues whatsoever, his gigantic crush fuelled enough blushing, staring, and hopefully plenty of touching, too. The bigger issue was not trying to lose himself in this lie, because once it ended, Harley would crash, hard.

“Hi darling.” Peter's voice brought Harley back to reality and seeing his 'boyfriend' skip over, all the butterflies in his stomach went into overdrive. And that grin... Awkwardly, Harley smiled back.

“Hey, Peter.”

“So, we're really going to be under scrutiny right now.” Peter walked up to him, closer and closer until they were mere centimetres apart and the breath hitched in Harley's throat.

“Uhm, yeah.” And cue the blush.

Peter's eyes searched his, blushing just like Harley. “Like... should we hug or... kiss?”

It took a few moments for the white noise in Harley's head to ebb down, allowing him to properly compute what Peter just suggested.

“Ehem.” The mechanic's harrumph broke the tension and the boys jumped apart, staring wide-eyed at their mentor, who walked in, towards the workstation. “I would like to remind the two of you that I do have an AI with eyes everywhere.”

“Mr Stark, that doesn't bother me ever since you chipped me”, Peter scoffed, trying to hide the blush as he made his way to an engineering project he had to do for school.

“You chipped him?” Harley's fell face again, staring at his mentor. “Wait, did you chip me, too?”

“I didn't”, Tony made clear. “And I didn't chip... Well, it doesn't matter. You gonna do some work or make eyes at Peter all the time?”

Peter dove halfway under the table to hide, and Harley felt the same way. But he was nothing if not a pain in Tony's ass, so he wouldn't let himself be taunted and, after a deep breath, he went back to his current robotic project.

But his mind was still caught in his and Peter's earlier almost-kiss... Or maybe it wouldn't have ended up like that. Harley's mind still fluttered at the thought of Peter all up in his personal space, of how he could feel Peter's breath against his skin, how Peter's eyes had locked onto Harley's and how hard he had to fight for his gaze not to drop down on Peter's lips.

And all of a sudden, Peter stood next to him, arms brushing. “You need a hand?”

“Sure.” Damnit, Peter was so smart, he knew what kind of help Harley needed, before Harley could even voice it.

The awkwardness didn't last longer than a few minutes though, they soon worked side by side, joking, laughing, even a bit of flirting and the time flew by. It was probably close to an hour later, when Harley realized that Tony was no where to be seen.

“Yo, mechanic?”

Now Peter noticed them being by themselves as well. “FRI, where's Mr Stark?”

“He left the workshop about fifteen minutes ago. He is currently having a cup of coffee in the upstairs kitchen.”

“Huh.” The 'boyfriends' looked at each other. “Did he say why?”

“I can ask him.”

“Nah, no need. We'll ask him ourselves later.”

“We'll do it right now.” Harley grabbed Peter's hand and pulled him along, making their way to the kitchen, where Tony sat by the table with a cup of coffee in front of him. Pretty sure, Harley did not want to know how many the mechanic's already had.

“So let's get this out right away”, he made clear before Tony could say anything. “I like Peter. Like a lot. And we're a thing, fullstop.”

He looked over at Peter who looked at him with wide eyes.

“I get that, and I can respect that. Just let me say that watching my two pseudo-kids flirting with each other takes a bit getting used to.”

“We're not gonna keep our distance though”, Peter explained, finally out of his trance, and stepped a bit closer to Harley's side, which probably combusted on contact.

“You're not supposed to, just give me some time to stomach you guys being sickeningly adorable.”

“Says the guy who starts drooling when his fiancée walks into the room”, Peter deadpanned, and Harley could only snort a laugh in agreement.

“Fine. I assume that you guys are hungry?”

“You know me”, Peter grinned.

“I do...” Tony rolled his eyes and shot Harley a pointed look. “If you ever wanna take that one out to dinner, you better save up; I know Pete doesn't look it, but he eats more than you and me put together.”

“I know”, Harley grinned at Peter, who he once watched inhaled an entire pizza in the same time Harley took to eat only two pieces himself. “You might need to pay me more...”

“That'd be the day”, Tony scoffed. “FRI?”

“Pizza is already on its way, boss.”

“Thanks. You two crazy kids, go wash up and FRI, keep an eye on them, will ya?”

They just rolled their eyes at him and Peter laced their fingers together very slowly and showy, which was nice. Like really nice. And if Harley was lucky, he might hold on a little longer.

* * *

Peter sat on a roof top, letting his feet dangle, when Mr Stark landed next to him.

“Hey Pete.” He sat himself down next to Peter and looked over as his mask folded back. “What's up?”

“Do you have an issue with me and Harley?”, Peter blurted out, a lot blunter than intended, but well.

“Of course I don't. Like I said, it just took me a moment to get used to the idea. And I get it, I really do. You two are adorable together and a blind guy could see how head over heels you are for him. And he for you”, he added with a smile.

Yeah, Peter already got that Harley was an incredibly good actor. All that cutesy couples stuff was unfortunately not that played on Peter's side.

“Ok, then why did you push for him to bring a date to the Halloween Party, but not me?” It had been nagging on Peter forever.

The way Mr Stark turned, Peter probably hit bull's eye with his suspicion.

“Listen, kid...” Oh, that was a great start. “I feel responsible to make sure you're alright. And after your last... let me call it romantic encounter with your classmate and her supervillain dad, I just... I don't know.”

“Right.” Peter didn't get what Mr Stark's issue was. “But since you're his sort of Dad, I don't really need to worry about that, do I? Like, don't get me wrong, I'm sure that if you wanted to go evil, you'd have this country on its knees before lunchtime, but I don't think that'll happen.”

“Thanks for your confidence in me”, Tony chuckled and put his arm around Peter's side. “I don't plan on doing anything evil like that, but I gotta say, now I'm curious to see how quickly I could rule this shit.”

“You'd need to get Pepper on your side first, though”, he grinned up. “She could and definitely would stop you.”

“Huh.” That Mr Stark had clearly not taken into account. “I guess I won't take over the world then.”

“Smart move”, Peter giggled. “I wouldn't want to go over to the dark side.”

“You'd follow me there?” Tony looked actually touched and a bit surprised.

“I mean”, Peter shrugged, not knowing what really to say. “You know all my moves, my tricks, my powers like nobody else, you know all my secrets” - well, almost all of them - “so once you'd join the Sinister Six, my superhero career'd be over.”

“And here I was thinking, you loved me.”

“I do”, Peter made clear and leaned closer into the hug. “So, please just stay good and a hero and we don't have to worry about all that.”

“Fine, promise.” Tony pressed a kiss against Peter's temple and gave his shoulder a soft squeeze. “Love you too, buddy. And, as awkward as you might think it is, because your boyfriend is my other ward, come to me, if you want to talk or anything, alright?”

“Thanks, Mr Stark.”

.

“Perfect.” With a wide grin, Harley inspected their Ironman costume, he and Peter had crafted in Peter's little bedroom. And crafted was an apt comparison; they used all the cardboard boxes they could find in Peter's apartment building and had bought all the gold and red glittering foil the shops in Queens had to offer, held together by enough hotglue and tape to withstand any Alien attack. In short, the costume was hilariously ugly.

“Mr Stark is so gonna disinherit us”, Peter giggled.

“Worth it”, Harley grinned back and, for the finishing touch, glued the blue arc-reactor, Peter had cut out, on it's chest plate. “Only question: Who gets to wear it, and who gets to draw on a beard and sport the nicest suit five bucks can buy us?”

“I'd say Peter looks a little more like Tony”, May commented and the boys shrieked back in surprise. Neither of them had realized she had been standing in the door, watching them craft their outfit. “Sorry, didn't want to startle you.”

“It's alright.” After catching their breath again, Peter fell back against Harley's side, a place he had barely left in the last few hours. “But yeah, do you think I should be Mr Stark?”

“I mean...” May walked into the room, critically inspecting both their faces. “You've got the darker hair and eyes. And, please don't take this the wrong way honey, but that suit you two made looks like it might be a little too big for you.”

“Hmpf.” Peter looked up a little miffed, but yeah. Not that that cardboard and tinfoil monstrosity would look good on anybody, but Harley could fit it better.

“Don't be miffed”, he grinned, “you get to look good in a nice suit and I mean, that's just perfect for me.”

“Huh?” Peter pulled his face in a confused grimace. “Why is that perfect for you?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Harley saw May stifling a chuckle and in all fondness, Harley couldn't help the eyeroll. “Because you will look hot as hell and I can spend the entire party oggling my good looking boyfriend.”

“Oh.” That blush that spread over Peter's face was just about the most adorable thing. He scrunched his nose a little up, something Harley had noticed every time Peter was complimented. “Thanks”, he mumbled and dropped his head to hide his flushed face.

“You still have your suit from Homecoming”, May threw in, “plus a nice tie and sun glasses and ta da! Tony Stark's double.”

“That doesn't fit me any more”, Peter shrugged, “growth spurt.”

“Right... How can I keep on forgetting that my little nephew is about to outgrow me”, May smiled and playfully tousled Peter's hair, who lost the fight against the blush.

“I could borrow one of Tony's suits”, Harley suggested. “You're almost his size anyway and since we're already going for the worst Ironmansuit, we maybe should at least get the real thing then.”

“Are you sure you can just take one of his suits?”

“I don't think he'll notice”, Peter shrugged, “as long as it's not coffee, his tools, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy or us, he doesn't notice when something's disappeared.”

“Then that's what we'll do”, Harley decided, already endlessly curious for the looks and reactions they'd get from the mechanic and the Avengers.

“Great. But for now we'll have dinner. You're staying Harley, right?”

“Yes, he does”, Peter answered in his place with a cheeky grin and squeezed his hand.

.

“What do you think?” Harley turned to Peter who had just changed into the suit, Harley had gotten from Tony's closet. He was pretty sure the mechanic didn't know, he hadn't said anything at least and Harley had agreed with FRI not to rat him out.

And fuck. That suit looked good on Peter.

It was a deep blue three-piece suit and yes, it was a little bit too big, but not too much; for his seventeen-year-old gangly being Peter was surprisingly muscular. He had his hair gelled back, apparently that was the only way to tame the curls. And he had drawn on Tony's beard.

“Harley?”

Only now, Harley realized that he'd been staring and forced himself to look natural as he looked back up. “You look good. Really. And definitely better than Tony.”

“Aww, thanks”, he grinned. “Can you help me with this, though?” He held a golden tie out with a meek grin. “May tried to teach me, but I didn't really get it.”

“Sure thing.” Harley cleared his throat as he got close enough for him to tie the tie, close enough for them to almost be brushed up against each other and Harley had to pull all his focus on the job at hand to keep from staring into Peter's eyes.

“Here.” Once finished, he straightened the lapels and smoothed the fabric of the tie and the shirt and, as his hands brushed over Peter's chest, Harley could swear he felt him jump.

But there was no time to linger, they were already a little late and should head on over to the party. Since transporting the cardboard-Ironmansuit was a logistical nightmare and pretty much impossible to do that secretly, they had decided on a Ironmanonesie. It was so much more comfortable and Harley could actually move in it, so that was definitely the better call.

He grabbed the sunglasses that he too had snuck out of Tony's wardrobe and gently put them on Peter's face. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Peter grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers and gently squeezed it and together they headed to the giant hall, where all the Avengers, SI employees, well, probably half the city was present.

“Omigod, I'm so honoured.” Tony was the first to greet them; Harley was pretty sure he had waited for the two to finally arrive.

“Can you guess what our costume means?”, Peter answered. “Hint: it's a couples costume.”

“But I'm not dating my suit?”, Tony asked and the touched smile made way for confusion.

“If you did, what would that be called?”

“Reason for therapy?”

“Well...” Harley looked over at Peter. “Guess he isn't a genius after all.”

“I got it.” Pepper came up beside Tony's side, laughing loudly and Harley did not doubt for a second that yes, she knew the answer. She leaned over and whispered her answer into Peter's ear, whose face just lit up in the most beautiful way and he nodded excitedly. “That's exactly right!”

“You're not gonna tell me?” Clutching his chest, Tony shot his fiancée the most heartbroken expression, but she just nodded. “You have to figure it out yourself until they decide to put you out of your misery. But at least now I know where that suit went.” Pepper grinned at Peter who blushed immediately. “You wear it well.”

“Thanks”, he smiled awkwardly.

“Wait, that's my suit!” Yeah, Peter was exactly right with his assumption that Tony wouldn't notice. After a moment of offence, Tony almost looked nostalgic. “Pep's right, you look good kid. But you... I'm almost offended.” He turned to Harley and critically looked him up and down. “You work almost daily on the real stuff and that's what you decided to show up in?”

“Me and Peter did build our own Ironsuit, but unfortunately we couldn't transport it here, so plan B...”

He and Peter both tried to look earnest, as Peter got his phone out to show him their work, both of them fully aware that Tony might not speak with them for the next year or so.

“Alright, so we put so much effort into this, almost destroyed my room, but we just wanted to make sure that it's as close to the original as it could be.” How Peter managed to say that without breaking, Harley had no idea. He squeezed Peter's hand and he turned the phone over at Tony. Whose face dropped almost immediately into pure offence and unbelieving speechlessness. “You... No, I...” With a gaping mouth he looked at Peter, then Harley, before he turned around and walked away without saying another word.

Pepper just started laughing. “You boys are incredible. Fantastic job, I got to say.”

“Thanks”, they grinned in unison, beaming up at Pepper in her beautiful zombie-bride costume. “You look really amazing, too.”

“Thank you. Already testing out such a thing”, she smiled and stroked the wide skirt of the muddied and bloodied wedding dress. “I might not wear that one at the wedding, though; my mother would faint.”

“I would make for a perfectly gorey ringbearer, though”, Harley grinned, until Peter boxed his side.

“If anyone gets to be ringbearer, it's me!”

“Right”, Harley scoffed.

“Exactly right”, Peter shot back, raising his eyebrow in the same challenging way as Tony often did. “Mr Stark likes me more than you.”

“Sure thing. And the earth is flat.”

“He does.”

“No, he doesn't.”

“Yes he does.”

“Boys”, Pepper interrupted. “He loves you both so much. Unfortunately, we already promised Dum-E that he could be ringbearer.”

“But...” Peter's mouth gaped open, before he caught himself again. “Then I want to be a flower boy.”

“Me too!”, Harley beamed. “I'd love to throw rose petals around! Or, if you go with the zombie-wedding, bones or something.”

“That sounds really wonderful, actually”, she smiled. “Yes, it would be fantastic if you two would be our flower boys.”

“Thank you!”, Peter squealed, let got of Harley and all but tackle-hugged Pepper, Harley followed suit right away.

.

“Did you get it yet?”, Harley grinned as the boys came up on each side of Tony, who was talking to Rhodey in a George Washington costume.

“Rhodey, would you please tell these gremlins at my side that I won't talk to them until I walk them down the aisle at their wedding?”

“Well, first of all”, Peter shrugged, “that's gonna be my aunt.” He waved at May in her fancy princess dress, dancing with Happy, who, well, he did his best, wearing a red coat and a crown, to make him look somewhat royal.

“And second of all, if I marry Peter, are you just gonna run down the aisle, once you walked one of us, to fetch the other?” Peter's stomach turned somewhat at that suggestion, maybe at how easy and relaxed the idea of them getting married sounded from Harley.

“Rhodey, would you please tell these infuriating gremlins, that dare to speak directly to me that I won't talk to them until I give my toast at their wedding?”

Rhodey didn't even bother to hide the grin as he looked at the teens. “What did you guys do?”

“Honestly, I have no idea”, Harley stated innocently. “I cannot possibly fathom why he'd be mad at us, we did dress up like him after all!”

“That's not it and you freaking know it”, Tony grumbled, turning to Harley with his finger pointed.

“I mean, technically we're not Tony Stark”, Peter explained to Rhodey. “All I'm gonna say is that this is a couple's costume and that he doesn't get it.”

“Et tu, Parker?”

“Wait...” Rhodey ignored his best friend and eyed them curiously, before the grin broke through. “Right, I got it. Boys, you are geniuses!”

“Thank you Mr Rhodey, War Machine, Iron Patriot, sir”, Peter giggled, aware of his extreme levels of nerdy fanboyness.

“Don't praise them”, Tony made clear, “they have committed horrendous crimes against the sanctity of engineering!”

Harley grinned over at Peter and he held his phone out to Rhodey to show him their crafted version of an Ironmansuit. “As you can see, we oriented our work at Mark XIII.”

While Mr Stark looked like he wouldn't mind being a dead zombie for reals, Rhodey just laughed at the picture. “He was right”, he chuckled. “You two are gremlins. And I also get why Tony hasn't introduced you to each other sooner...”

“I mean, he didn't have to introduce us at all”, Peter shrugged, locking eyes with Harley who smiled back over.

“Guess we were just meant to run into each other.”

Just before Peter could lose himself in Harley's eyes, Thor came up, pulling his brother behind him, each dressed as the other. The dark hair and green suit definitely looked weird on Thor, but Loki could actually pull being blond off.

“Peter! It is truly wonderful to see you again, it has been so long!” The god swept him up and gave him a tight hug, and Peter couldn't care less about the fancy shirt crinkling; there was nobody that gave better hugs than Thor.

“Hi Thor! I missed you, too. How is Asgard?”

“My people are well, thank you for asking”, he smiled as he put Peter back down, who went and wrapped himself right around Loki.

“Missed you too”, he grinned as Loki put his arm around Peter.

“And I you, Peter. Is Stark any closer to allow you to come visit Asgard with my brother and me?”

“He is not”, Tony grumbled. “I'm not letting my Pete go off world with the god of mischief.”

“I'm starting to take this personally!” A clearly fake-pained expression on his face, Loki let go of Peter and clutched his heart. “Are you saying you don't like me?”

“Brother”, Thor tried to get him to shut up. “There is no need for you to antagonize our host, who has set up such fantastic celebrations.”

In the joy of seeing his Asgardian friends again, Peter lost sight of Harley for a moment; now he saw him standing just beside Tony, staring at Thor and Loki with wide eyes. Apparently, he hadn't met them yet.

“Thor, Loki, I would like you to meet somebody”, he smiled, grabbed Harley's hand and pulled him towards the demi-gods. “This is my boyfriend, Harley. Harley, that's Thor and Loki.”

“Harley, how wonderful to meet you!” Similarly as he did just now with Peter, Thor grabbed Harley by the shoulders and pulled him close into a hug. “Any friend of Peter's is a friend of mine and my people.”

Harley was completely speechless, something quite unusual for him.

“I might not be as affectionate as my brother, but I too am pleased to meet you. Though I postpone further judgement until I have deemed whether you are good enough for our Peter.”

“Alright.” Harley swallowed hard and looked at Loki with wide eyes, very aware of who just threatened him.

“Loki, he is. Don't worry about that”, Peter assured him and grabbed Harley's hand again. “He's the best.” And absolutely nothing about Peter's lovestruck grin and the warm feeling in his chest was fake.

.

“Come on, let's dance.” Harley grabbed Peter's hand and pulled him along.

“Uhm, but I can't dance”, Peter tried to get out of this, but Harley's grip on him was firm.

“That's ok, me neither. But we can still have fun.”

Well, as long as it was this fun, upbeat music, where Peter didn't have to be so damn close to Harley or touch him, and they could just weirdly flail and jump about, Peter'd be fine. It didn't take him too long to get into it, and enjoy it, too. It was just him and Harley, having fun, joking, making weird moves and giggling about some of the other dancers that took themselves very seriously. Sure, they were the youngest people there by far, there was Wanda who was only a few years older than them, but other than that they were just two teens that had inexplicably gotten an invitation to a very fancy party, and that was exactly how they acted and would continue to act.

Until the music changed into something slow, romantic, and Peter could no longer hide behind jokes and fun. A quick glance around the room affirmed his hunch: everybody pulled their partner closer; hand around waists, resting their heads on their partner's shoulder. Like May and Happy, who were swaying from one foot to the other, cheek against cheek. Or Tony, who held Pepper close, who even had her eyes closed.

Peter turned back to Harley who shrugged and offered a small smile; holding his hands out, silently asking for Peter's permission. Well, here goes nothing... With a smile, Peter took the outstretched hand and Harley pulled him close, their chests actually brushing. An arm wrapped itself around Peter's waist and Peter followed suit, embracing Harley and rested his chin on Harley's shoulder, even if he had to stretch a little bit to reach it. It felt so right, which was so wrong in so many ways! Realizing that May, Happy and Tony had their eyes on the two boys, Peter closed his eyes; pretending they weren't there was a lot easier when he couldn't see them. It also helped a lot to lose himself in this romantic little bubble, where all that mattered were him and Harley; only the soft music, the hand on his lower back, the thumb brushing over Peter's spine, sending shivers all through his body, mattered. It was only Harley, his warm breath against Peter's neck, his hand gently guiding him as they danced.

Only when Harley stirred, Peter opened his eyes. Harley looked over, locking eyes with Peter. “So”, he mumbled almost breathlessly, “since we're a couple... Do you think it'd be alright if I... I mean, if we... kissed?”

Peter's heart stopped for a moment as he could only stare and tried to process what Harley just suggested. But yes, Harley just asked if they could kiss. Which would be ruinous for the real life. But this wasn't real life, was it? This was just the two of them, lost in their own little world, where nothing else mattered but the other.

Peter just nodded, at which Harley's eyes lit up brighter than the fake battery-powered arc-reactor on his chest. The hand from Peter's back disappeared, but only moments later reappeared on Peter's cheek and with a smile, Harley tilted up Peter's chin, leaned closer and before Peter really knew it, their lips met. And Peter melted into the touch. As soft and gentle as their kiss was, it fired up everything, probably even his kidneys and liver. He brushed his hands up to Harley's neck, softly pulling him down a bit more, deepening the kiss and... Time stood still.

Let the world end, Peter didn't care. Kissing Harley felt like nothing Peter had ever felt before. Even Liz agreeing to be his homecoming date couldn't compete, it didn't even come close.

Only when they broke away, Peter realized that he hadn't been breathing for the last how ever long they were kissing. Wide-eyed, he and Harley looked at each other, until he started chuckling.

How the hell was Peter supposed to take this? “What is so hilarious?”, he demanded to know.

“I'm sorry, but I'm kissing a guy that looks like my father figure... That's kinda weird, isn't it?”

With that skew grin Harley shot him, Peter couldn't help but laugh along. “Yeah, it is. Should I have wiped off the beard before?”

“I mean, it's not like there's too much of it left.” Harley's thumb brushed Peter's chin, his lips, before he stilled immediately. He looked like he just woke up from a dream, which in all honesty was what Peter felt like, too. “How about some punch?”

“Yeah”, Peter nodded, broke the embrace and grabbed Harley's hand. It felt almost empty, without Harley touching him, but with their fingers entangled, it wasn't that bad anymore.

* * *

Oh damn. That went so much further than Harley had ever planned it'd go. But once he and Peter were close like that, embracing and dancing... He still felt Peter's hair brushing against his chin, felt the way his hand rubbed up and down his back, still felt the fire lighting up when Peter nodded his agreement to be kissed, still felt the emotional blackout when their lips met, how they seemed to burn against his skin, even now, some fifteen hours later, Harley felt Peter against him. It was only when Harley cupped Peter's face and was just about to kiss him again that he remembered that all that was fake. It wasn't real, it was all pretend.

Was it, though?

It felt so real, all of it. Even now, as they worked side by side in the lab, it was so easy, so normal to slip into flirty banter, only cutting it out when Tony shot them a look, just to start flirting again a few minutes later.

“Hey Tones, you called me?” Rhodey walked into the lab.

“I did.”

“You did?”, both teens asked simultaneously, similarly confused. “When?”

“Ten or so minutes ago. Come here, honeybear.” Tony waved at the other man, who didn't look too sure what to make out of this right now as well.

“What do you need?”

Beaming up, Tony wrapped his arms around Rhodey's waist. “Someone to make googly eyes at, because if I have to watch those two lovebirds any longer, I'm gonna be sick.”

“Tony, I got a job to do.” Even though he rolled his eyes, Rhodey didn't make any move to leave and instead put one arm around Tony's shoulder. “Couldn't you call somebody else to flirt with you?”

“Well, Happy can't flirt, and neither can Rogers or Banner. Thor is a bit too... well, Thor. Of Natasha I'm scared and even if I called her, Pepper wouldn't drop her work for me. Maybe I should marry you instead of her, you always come when I call”, he grinned up.

“Well, you did just save me from a discussion with Ross, so I should probably thank you.”

“What did he want this time?

“The usual”, Rhodey shrugged and Tony's face turned rockhard immediately.

“You alright, Tony?”, Harley asked, even though he was a little worried to interrupt.

“I swear to whoever will listen, one day I'll send that fucker to the moon.” The rage did drop a little from his face, when Rhodey gently squeezed his shoulder.

“What's his issue, then?”

“Spider-Man is”, Rhodey explained. Peter turned suddenly to Rhodey, almost worried. Harley got that, he knew that Peter really liked Spidey, he was always ready to defend the hero, probably knew who was under the mask, judging from the way he always blushed when someone brought it up.

“What is his issue with Spider-Man?”, Peter asked, looking from Tony to Rhodey. No, it wasn't worry on Peter's face, it was fear.

“He wants to know his identity”, Mr Stark explained, “desperately so, since he, Daredevil, The Iron Fist and Moon Knight are pretty much the only heroes in NYC with a secret identity. I can't remember how often I've told him to shove his curiosity where the sun don't shine...”

“And I've told him just as often.” Rhodey sighed deeply. “All we unfortunately can do about this is to assure Spider-Man that we'll do everything in our power to keep his identity save.”

“I'm sure he really appreciates that”, Peter smiled, but the fear, Harley noticed, was still there. Not knowing what else to do, Harley grabbed Peter's hand and squeezed it; and almost immediately, some of the fear dropped and the smile Peter shot him looked almost real.

“You see, that's why I need you, honey bear”, Tony groaned gesturing at the intertwined fingers.

“Don't listen to the old man over here, guys”, Rhodey winked.

“You're older than me.”

“So what... Don't fret to show the entire world how much in love you are, and you both know this one well enough to know that, deep at heart, he's a hopeless romantic.”

“Et tu, Rhodey?”

As the grown-ups continued their bickering, not unlike that of an old-married couple, Harley completely lost all sense of space and time. 'How much in love you are.' Rhodey's words replayed over and over in Harley's mind. How the fuck could they be in love, if they weren't even properly dating? Was he in love with Peter? He only knew the guy for two months and a bit, that was way to fast wasn't it?

Yes, he had a crush, that much he could admit. After all he watched Peter, when he thought nobody watched him, especially when he was working. He watched, when Peter crinkled his forehead in frustration, when something didn't work out the way it was supposed to. He watched, when Peter scrunched his nose up, when he was met with any kind of affection, be it a hair tousle or a compliment. He watched, how Peter's eyes went big in curiosity, when Tony explained something or other to them. He watched, how Peter's lips twitched, every time he tried not to laugh after somebody made a snarky or sassy joke. And he watched, when Peter's entire face lit up, when something worked out the way he had imagined it, even when Harley was successful, Peter enjoyed it if he had just climbed Mount Everest.

So yes, Harley definitely had a major crush and he was falling, probably harder than he'd like to. And that's why, once this whole pretend-fake-thing would eventually end, Harley would just crash and burn. And all that in the knowledge that it had been his own fucking stupid idea and fault.

* * *

When Harley walked into the lab, Tony was already (or still? It was hard to tell with the mechanic) hard at work, surrounded by tools, while Dum-E and Butterfingers whirred through the lab.

“Harley!”, he called out in greeting when he finally saw him. “How was Lego time with Peter and the nerd-herd?”

“Was awesome”, he grinned and tossed his bag in the corner. “Peter said to say hi, but May is unexpectedly home earlier today, so he went home instead.”

“Right.” (Tony was quite aware of the fact that Aunt Hottie was on a date with Happy, because his head of security had been gushing about her and what to wear all day long, so Peter was probably busy with his extracurriculars he still hadn't told his boyfriend about.) “Well, get in here, then.”

Tony waved him over and before long, Harley was buried just as deeply in wires and stuff as the mechanic was. It was late afternoon when Harley had gotten back to the compound; when he eventually looked up from his work, prompted by FRIDAY, it was already dark out. “Boss, Spider-Man is calling.”

“Put him through”, Tony waved and immediately the heavy breathing from the other line filled the lab.

“Missark?” The weirdly familiar voice was weak, only a quiet mumble.

“Shit, what happened?” Immediately, the mechanic jumped up. “FRI, KAREN's log.”

“So, Ninjas, right?”, Spider-Man slurred. “Really long swords. An' sharp.”

Damnit, that voice was gutwrenchingly familiar! It was masked somehow, but not enough, Harley was one hundred percent sure that he knew who they were talking to. Harley was worried, yes, but Tony looked like he was gonna lose himself in his fear for Spider-Man and already his Ironmansuit pieced itself together.

“Kid, where are you? FRI, tracker!”

“New York...”

“Alright, kid.” Tony's voice rose in panic, but he tried to sound steady enough not to freak Spider-Man out any more. “I'm on my way, you just need to hold on, you got that, Pete?”

“PETER?” Shit, that's why he knew the voice, it was his damn boyfriend!

“'s Harley? Missark, please don' tell, he'll worry. Don' worry him.” The voice went softer, as did the already shallow breathing.

“You stay here”, Tony made clear with a pointed look that did not hide his fear. “FRI make sure that Harley stays here. Peter, I'm coming, just stay awake.” And with that, Tony ran for the window and flew off.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

“FRIDAY, tell me everything about Peter and Spider-Man.”

After FRIDAY recapped Peter's story, losing his parents, being bitten by a radio-active spider, watching his Uncle die, meeting Tony, meeting and fighting the Avengers, the Vulture-business... Harley just started bawling his eyes out and dropped to the ground, where he balled himself up.

Peter was Spider-Man. Spider-Man was Peter. He had lied to Harley for months! They'd been dating, well, sort of at least. But clearly Peter didn't feel like it was real, if he kept the most important things in his life away from Harley.

And now he was what, impaled by a sword, lying in a ditch somewhere and there was nothing Harley could do, absolutely nothing.

“FRI, where's the medbay?” He needed to be there once Peter got here, Harley just needed to be by his side. All the pain, anger or whatever at being kept in the dark didn't matter at all, he just needed to be there.

“I am under orders not to let you leave.”

“FRI, I'm not gonna run away and into the city, I'm not even gonna leave this building and you're gonna keep eyes on me all the time. Please”, he begged, “please, FRI, I need to be there. He's my boyfriend after all.”

“Fine.” As begrudgingly as she sounded, FRI instructed him where to go and he got there just as Tony put Peter on a bed that was immediately wheeled away.

“WAIT!”, he cried out and started to run towards where Tony stood in front of a door, that closed behind Peter.

“Harley, I told you to stay in the lab.” As stern as Tony tried to sound, his voice was wavering and now that Harley got closer, he could see that the red all over him was not his Ironmansuit but instead... Oh fuck. As realization hit, Harley felt all the colour draining from his face.

“No, no, no, please tell me this isn't...” He didn't await an answer, something between desperation and determination took hold of him and he stormed on, intend on pushing past his mentor and into that operating theatre, because clearly they had to talk about a different Peter here. It couldn't be his Peter, because his Peter wouldn't secretly fight fucking ninjas with swords!

“Harley, stop. Please, kid”, Tony tried to reason with him, but all reason went out the window the moment his boyfriend was impaled by a fucking sword. The fact that Peter technically wasn't his boyfriend didn't matter; for all Harley cared they were in a relationship and no Ironman could stand in his way.

“Kid, please!” Tony grabbed Harley's shoulder, holding him back, but Harley fought with everything he had. He was gonna see Peter! Nobody could keep him from his Peter!

The mechanic's hold tightened, he wrapped an arm around him, trying to push him further away from the operating room.

“No, NO!”, Harley cried, fighting tooth and nail, “I NEED TO SEE HIM! LET ME GO!”

“I know you want to see him, but you can't right now. We just need to wait for Dr Strange to finish the surgery.”

“NO!”, he kept on yelling over and over again, “PLEASE! LET ME GO!”

By now, Harley was pressed tightly against Tony's chest, but he couldn't dare to let the rage drop just yet, he couldn't give in, couldn't give up. “Please!” As hard as he tried, his cries gave way for what was more whimpering as he boxed against Tony's chest, he just needed to be stronger, he just needed to keep pushing and he could be there and, if nothing else, at least to see he was still alive...

What if he wasn't? Oh fuck, what if this... What if all this was the last time that...

From one moment to the next, all strength drained from his body and he fell against Tony. If he weren't holding him as tightly, Harley would have probably dropped to the floor. He clawed into the shirt, hard, holding on for dear life, for Peter's life. His face pressed against Tony's chest, he just let it all out. One last scream gave way to his sobs and the tears, streaming down his face.

“I got you.” Tony held him close, gently stroking up and down Harley's back. “Everything'll be alright.”

“I love him...” He did, he really did. As much as he had denied it these last few weeks since the Halloween party... Well, Harley shouldn't have. He shouldn't have denied himself the chance to actually say it out loud.

“I know you do. And Peter loves you, too.”

“No, he doesn't”, Harley muttered, cursing himself the moment he said it.

“Of course he does. He's just as crazy about you as you are about him.”

“No, he isn't”, Harley repeated, louder this time, intent on letting all the secrets, the hurt, the pining and everything else that had been bottled up for the last three or so months out, intent on finally coming clean, and he looked up at the mechanic's tear-stained face. “Because it's all not true.”

“What isn't?”

“Me and Peter... We're not really dating”, he admitted quietly, between sobs. “I wanted to get you off my back, you know, setting me up with all of SI. Didn't think you'd know each other and two or three dates and that would be it.”

“Yeah, I know”, Tony shrugged and brushed the hair out of Harley's face.

“You do?” What the fuck?

“I know you. And I know Peter. And in the beginning it just didn't all add up completely. But over time I figured you two got your heads out of your own asses and realized that you were actually falling for the other. Halloween I figured, that yes, now you've got it. Well, soon as Peter wakes up from his op, you can get it sorted out.”

Tony sounded so sure of himself, but what... What if Peter didn't wake up anymore?

“You know, one of the great thing about his being Spider-Man is that he has superhuman healing”, Tony explained, when the next round of sobs took over and Harley pressed his face against Tony's chest again. “A few months ago he broke his leg. Healed completely in a couple of days. He can accidentally cut his finger during breakfast and by dinner it'll be healed without a scar.”

All that sounded too good to be true. But then again, Spider-Man could lift tons of weight, could climb up walls... considering all that, super-healing didn't seem all that improbable...

Eventually, Tony pushed him towards a bank and there they waited. Harley never left the mechanic's embrace, even when Pepper checked in, and when Happy and May arrived. Peter's aunt looked similarly worried and grabbed Harley's hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

And together they managed to make it through what was probably half the night, until the door opened and Dr Strange walked out.

“Wow”, he smiled, “Peter will be really glad to see that so many people care about him once he wakes up.”

“Does that mean that...”

“Everything went perfectly”, the doctor nodded, “and with his spider-healing, I don't think he'll need to be in the medbay all that long.”

That sounded ok so far. But Harley was not gonna let the relief wash over him until he saw Peter with his own eyes and had actual, tangible proof that Peter was alright.

“Come on”, Strange waved at Harley, who really could not sit still anymore and after a gentle push from Tony, he got up. “The rest of you can come, too.”

Harley didn't give two fucks who joined, and he didn't really realize any of them once Dr Strange opened the door to a patient room, where Peter lay in a big bed, tubes and shit running from and to his arm. Even though Peter wouldn't feel it, Harley took his hand and gently brushed his thumb over it, careful not to interfere with any of the needles and cables that were stuck in there.

Peter was quite pale, but his breathing was steady and so was his pulse. There was an ugly purpleish bruise on his forehead, one of those fucking ninjas must have hit him there. But other than that, he was just sleeping. He looked almost peaceful, as his chest rose and fell, which in turn helped Harley calm down again too.

No matter what, Harley wasn't gonna leave until he knew that Peter was really ok, before Peter'd wake up, he would not leave. Not when Tony left after a little while to take a shower and change out of the bloody clothes, not when a few Avengers came in and left, no one would be able to pry his hands from Peter's.

* * *

Peter woke up to a very mushy feeling. It was weird, it took him longer than usually to open his eyes, and even then, things around him weren't all that clear. He wasn't in his own bed, that much he could tell. He also wasn't by himself in this strangely big bed. Turning his head hurt like nobody's business, but slowly he managed to make out the figure by his side. It was Harley that held tightly onto his hand, lying half on the bed, half on a chair. His head rested against Peter's shoulder, hair hanging down his forehead and he snored softly. Alright.

As he turned his head further, he saw Happy and May, also sleeping soundly, cuddled up on a chair in one corner. On his other side was Mr Stark, who had his feet up on Peter's bed, not just softly snoring. Pepper was on his lap, her head resting on his chest.

Peter looked down himself, maybe this way he could figure out where he was or what happened. There were plenty of tubes running in and out of his arm and his left hand was bandaged up.

This was a hospital. Not just any hospital, it was probably the infirmary at the Avenger's. The way the sun was shining in through the window, it was probably late morning, maybe early afternoon already.

What had happened? The last thing he remembered was the Lego date at Ned's, with Harley and MJ. As usual, MJ was sprawled out on the couch, nose in her book, making her usual snarky comments. Peter was sandwiched between Ned and Harley, but mostly pressed against Harley's side. The same side against which Harley was now cuddled.

But then... Harley had asked Peter to come along to the compound, work some more on the robot they had been tinkering with for a while, but Peter decided to go Spidermanning instead. So he lied to Harley. To his fake boyfriend, he just wanted so much to be his real boyfriend. Said something about dinner with May, some lame excuse, like he had so many times over the last months.

And then there were the ninjas... There were too many of them, Peter was outnumbered, not even his Spidey-sense was enough to get him through this. They only dispersed when the police sirens came close. It wasn't until Peter was up on a roof after all the ninjas had disappeared, that he realized the pain in his side. And the hole in his suit and all the blood, so much blood that trickled down his side, his leg.

The last thing Peter managed to remember was to ask KAREN to call Mr Stark.

And now he woke up in the hospital, with Harley by his side. He found out. Did Mr Stark tell him? Or did he see Peter coming in, hurt like that? It must have been pretty bad, given that his side was hurting like hell and really everybody was squeezed into the room.

Peter tried to move carefully, not to wake Harley, but his 'boyfriend' held on tight enough, that even the smallest movement woke him.

“Peter?” He glinted at him, but as soon as he saw that he was awake, his eyes flew wide open. “Peter, omigod, you're alive and you're awake and...”

“Shhh”, Peter gestured at the grown-ups, “don't wake them.”

“Sorry”, Harley whispered and helped Peter to sit up. “You need anything?”

“Water.”

“Here.” Harley held a glass of water out to him and with a weak smile Peter took it. And half a glass later, his throat didn't feel like sandpaper any more.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not sure yet”, he answered honestly.

“But you remember what happened?”

Peter just nodded.

“Great. Dr Strange said that this is a good sign; I'll get him right away.”

“Stop.” Peter held him back by his arm. “Before chaos breaks out...” He looked up at him, hopefully as sincere and heartfelt as he intended. “I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for never telling and...”

“Peter, we can talk about this once you're rested and alright.” Harley moved out of Peter's hold and left the room.

“I know you're up”, Peter eventually mumbled, without turning towards Mr Stark.

“I'd like to brush your hair back or something, but I'm scared to wake Pepper”, he explained his inactivity. “But boy, am I glad you're awake.”

“Yeah, me too.” Peter slowly turned and was relieved to see his mentor's warm smile. It was reassuring and safe.

“Are you in pain?”

“A bit”, Peter nodded. “Side is pretty bad. And my head.”

“That I believe. But lucky you got that spider-healing, huh?”, Mr Stark grinned before stifling a yawn.

“Yeah... You alright?”

“Now that you're up, I am. Scared the shit out of us, kiddo. And got me another five hundred grey hairs.”

“Pepper prefers the silver fox look”, Peter shrugged with a bit of a grin.

“I'm not thanking you”, Tony made clear, but grinning as well. “Right, as soon as Harley and Stephen get back, all hell's gonna break loose. You ready?”

“As I'll ever be. But...” He took a deep breath. “How's Harley doing?”

“For the last twenty or so hours all that mattered to him was that you're alive and would not leave your side for a moment. Everything else you two have to figure out.”

“Right.”

It was the look that Harley tried to hide as he walked out of the room, that bothered Peter. At first it had been relieve that Peter was alright, but then as soon as the worry dropped, there was room for hurt and anger. And Peter felt it as clearly as the pain in his side: he had fucked up and now he was gonna lose Harley. And only thinking about that was already so much worse than being impaled by a fucking sword.

When moments later Dr Strange walked into the room, he was not quiet about it, which in turn woke up everybody else.

“Pete! Oh, you're up!” May jumped off Happy's lap and to Peter's side, before Peter really had the chance to realize she was awake. Pepper and Happy thankfully kept their distance, though they also smiled at him, clearly relieved that he was more or less ok.

“Hey, Aunt May”, he smiled and softly squeezed her hand. “I'm alright.”

“I'll be the judge of that”, Strange grinned. “Could I please have the room to do just that?”

“Sure thing.” May leaned over and kissed Peter's forehead. “We'll be right outside and back as soon as the doc's done.”

Everyone followed suit, patting his leg, his arm before motioning to walk outside, but just before he could follow, Peter grabbed Harley's arm. “Can you stay, please?”

A little unsure, Harley looked from him to Tony to Dr Strange, who nodded.

“Uh, ok...” A little awkwardly, Harley shuffled back to the chair, he had spend the night on and let Peter hold his hand.

“Thanks”, he mumbled, just before the door closed and Dr Strange came to his left, his impaled side.

The check-up went up and down Peter's side, his face where apparently he had quite the bruise and his contused leg. What exactly the doc did, Peter didn't really notice, didn't care about. He kept his eyes locked onto Harley's and tried to read him, tried to figure out what he should say to make him feel better about being lied to.

“Right then”, Strange cleared his throat, “looking good, kid. I am endlessly envious of that spider-healing, no signs of inflammation or anything like that, I'm sure that by tonight the wound will start to close up already.”

“Thanks, Doctor.” Begrudgingly, Peter broke his gaze with Harley and looked at Strange. “Thanks for all this and saving my life.”

“That's what I'm here for”, he smiled at Peter. “Let me update your family out there then.” With a nod at the teens, Strange left the room and Peter and Harley by themselves.

“How're you feeling?”

Smalltalk, great. Just want Peter wanted right now.

“You heard the doc. How are you?”

Harley looked down at their entangled fingers, gently brushing over the back of Peter's hand with his thumb. “I don't know”, he eventually mumbled. “I am so fucking happy that you're alive and that you'll be alright. For the rest... I'm really not sure.”

“I'm so sorry, I... I just want to make all this alright for you.”

“And how the fuck do you thing that you could make the last 20 or so hours alright again, huh?” Harley looked back up, tears in his eyes. “In the span of fifteen minutes I found out that you were Spider-Man, everything that happened in the last few years, and that you were currently impaled by fucking ninja swords. Tony wouldn't even let me see you. All night I had to sit there with your Aunt and Tony and everybody else who loves you and wait. There was nothing I could do about the boyfriend I thought I knew everything about. Well, looks like I knew nothing after all, did I?”

The last few words felt like poison and Peter couldn't help but flinch at the harsh sound of them.

“That's not true. I'm still me, Lego-loving, engineering Peter. That's just one part of me...”

“But such a big one! And one that made you keep on lying to me! How the hell am I supposed to believe anything else you told me? I thought you were supposed to be my boyfriend...”

“Right”, Peter couldn't help but scoff, “because all that is so true and not an enormous lie in itself.”

Peter regretted it the moment he said it. Harley went rigid, completely still. “Right. Ok then, I'm really happy you're not dead.” All the emotions had vanished from his voice, he sounded almost robotic. As he got up, Harley pulled his hand away, out of Peter's hold. And without another word he turned and left Peter by himself in the big room, that felt so much emptier the further Harley walked away.

As the door closed behind him, Peter could just have screamed his lungs out. Instead, he let the tears roll silently down his cheek. It was over. It was all over and it was all Peter's fault. So what if it wasn't all that real, it had felt real; it had been real to Peter. And now it was over.

“Hey darling.” The door opened and May slipped into the room. “Hey, it's alright!” As soon as she saw his teary face, she hurried to his side and gently cupped his face. “You're gonna be just fine.”

“But I don't wanna be”, he muttered under his breath, wiping his eyes.

“Honey...” May sat up on his bed, Peter made enough room, so she could sit by his side, put her arms around him and he gratefully leaned in. “You and Harley are going to be alright. I know it. You're both so damn smitten...”

“No, we're not”, he quietly admitted and pressed himself as close to his aunt as he could. “Harley wanted to get Mr Stark of his back, so he said we're dating. But... It was all pretend.”

He waited for being scolded for that lie, so many lies he told the people he was closest to. But instead, May pressed her lips against his temple. “Maybe you weren't dating at first. Those feelings, they were real though, or at least they became real. Neither you nor Harley would be so upset or heartbroken right now, if it were all fake.”

Peter didn't know what to say or think, so he just cuddled himself closer against May and tightly wrapped up in her arms, he soon enough drifted back into sleep.

* * *

When Harley left Peter's hospital room, Tony's outstretched arms already awaited him. Not giving two fucks about the other grown ups around them, Harley trotted right into Tony's embrace and, once he was safely enveloped in the mechanic's arms, he let the tears roll.

“It's ok”, Tony kept on assuring him, “it's all gonna be ok.”

“No, it's not”, Harley mumbled. “It's over, although it never even began.”

“You're such a drama queen”, Tony chuckled before cupping Harley's face. “You two will be alright. Because even if you don't want to believe it, that boy in there is so in love with you, it's almost ridiculous.”

“Then why did he lie to me, huh? Why did he lie to me for months on end?”

“You mean like you two lied to me and everybody else?”

“That's not the same”, Harley grumbled, wiping a few tears off his cheek and chin. It was something else though, right? Sure, he and Peter had told a major lie about a life changing event to all the people closest to them. Whoops. “Fine, maybe it's the same. But it shouldn't be! If it had been real to him too, he would have told me.”

“You know, Peter never ever told anybody about his secret. Not me, not May, not Ned or MJ... All of us found out more or less by accident. That kid is hell bent on keeping everybody away from Spider-Man, as far as he can. You know, Peter's big reason not to tell you was, because he didn't want you to worry about him. That's why he kept it to himself.”

“Right, because it's so ridiculous to worry about someone who goes ahead and gets himself impaled.”

“Well, Keener, you just fell head over heels for someone who's heart is bigger than his appetite. You have no idea how much of a battle it was to get him to call me when he got hurt, because he'd rather stitch up his hand with dental floss in his bedroom than inconvenience me.”

“That example was just too damn specific for you to have thought of it.” Harley looked up with big eyes and just couldn't believe what he heard. That idiot in there didn't even bother to get help?

“Trust me, knowing Peter is responsible for about half of my grey hairs. The other half is on you, kiddo”, Tony added with a grin and Harley actually managed a real grin back at him.

“I'm not that idiotic and self-sacrificial, though.”

“No”, Tony agreed, “but you're a snarky little shit that terrorizes my company.”

“Which, I'm pretty sure, is why you love me.”

“Unfortunately, yes”, Tony smiled back and gently kissed Harley's cheek.

“Well, unfortunately, I love you, too.”

* * *

Peter was in the infirmary for three days. Three days, in which he was swamped with visits from Avengers, including plenty of goodies, to help him recuperate. Thor's cookies, of which he got a fresh plate every day, definitely helped a lot. But so did Tasha's spider-pillow, the waffles from Clint, and Bucky telling him stories of Captain America in his youth was just pure comedy-gold.

The one who kept his distance was Harley. It wasn't that he never came or ignored him. Sometimes, when Peter woke up, he found Harley by his bedside, napping with his head just short of brushing against Peter's arm. They were never alone though, at least Mr Stark and May always were with him, and Peter seldom woke up to less than three Avengers checking in on him.

It was day four post incident, that he and Harley had the chance to talk, just the two of them. Peter's side was healed up well enough that Dr Strange didn't deem it necessary for Peter to be in the medbay anymore, but thought it best if he stayed a few more days at the compound, so everybody could keep an eye on him.

Peter was by himself in his room, after begging Aunt May and Mr Stark to let him be for an hour at least, saying he had school things to read up on (which of course he didn't do, but with this excuse, they backed off), when someone knocked on his door.

“It's me”, Harley announced and Peter shot a web to pull open the door. “Hi.”

“Hey”, Peter smiled back and motioned for Harley to come inside and sit down.

“How are you feeling?”

If Peter had gotten a dollar every time someone had asked him that in the last four days, he wouldn't have to worry about college tuition any more.

“I'm ok. And you?”

“Yeah, me too.” Harley climbed up on the bed, sitting opposite Peter. “Figured we should talk it out before it gets really bad.”

“Yes please”, he smiled relieved. “I really think that it would be good to get everything out in the...”

“I like you”, Harley blurted out. “Like a lot. Like I'm really into you.”

Oh. Peter stared at him, while his brain tried to understand what he just heard. Up until now, he had thought that everything Aunt May and Mr Stark tried to tell him about his reciprocated feelings was too good to be true.

“Can you please say something?”, Harley remarked after a while, blushing red like Peter's spider-suit.

“Yeah. I, uhm, I like you, too. So very much. Like... The last few months, were pretty real to me.”

“So, we were actually dating these last months, without realizing it. We really are geniuses, huh?”

“Definitely”, Peter grinned. “But, before you say anything else, I've been thinking a lot these last few days, and... Don't get me wrong, I would love to be your boyfriend, your real one I mean. But I think that if we want this to work out, we should maybe take it down a notch, at least for a while.”

Peter took a deep breath and, since Harley looked at him with wide eyes, clearly not following what Peter was trying to say, he continued. “I know that I kept a lot from you. And that I lied to you. And that's not cool and not ok and not the proper basis for a relationship. So, until you and I both know that you're cool with Spidey and with everything, I think we should maybe stick with just friends.”

As hard as it was to say, Peter was glad he said it. And, after his reasoning dawned on Harley, he nodded. “Ok. Because as long as there's wariness, dating wouldn't be fair to either one of us.”

“Right. So, for now I'd say we go back to normal. We meet at Ned's for Lego, we screw around in the lab, I'll go patrolling, but will definitely tell you about it, and every time there's something Spidey you need to know or vent or shit, you can let it all out. Ok?”

“Ok”, Harley smiled. “That is so super considerate of you that I don't even know what to say. I've been thinking the same thing for the last few days, but was worried that you'd think I'm not interested in you any more. Romantically, you know?”

The way Peter's heart skipped a beat and send the butterflies in his stomach to work, Peter did definitely know. And hopefully, by his heart eyes, Harley could tell as well, because right now, Peter had no idea how to communicate his feelings any other way.

“'kay, then”, Harley cleared his throat after a while. “I should probably let you rest up. Thor's already in the kitchen again, and I think this time he and Loki are making a cake for you and yeah, you need to be rested for that party.”

“You can stay though. If you want”, he quickly added, worried he already crossed a line in their weird not-really-dating-but-not-just-friends-either-relationship. “I mean, I was just gonna read the comics, Ned sent and you can chill too, if you'd like.”

“Yeah.” Harley blushed a bit, before the smile took over. “I'd like to.”

.

When later that afternoon, Tony glanced into Peter's room to invite him to the god of thunder's chocolate cake, he could only smile at the scene in front of him. Peter and Harley, side by side, their noses in the same comic book as they silently read the story.

There wasn't particularly much cuddling going on, but they were finding their way to get back in sync and Tony was sure that before they'd know it, they'd officially be a couple.

* * *

“Parker, you in there?”

“I'm almost ready!”, Peter called back to Harley, who knocked on his door. “You can come in, though.”

He walked out of his bedroom's ensuite, just having given his outfit the once over, before he'd head out to the Avenger Christmas party. Unlike Halloween it would only be the inner circle, Avengers and his family, all people that he held close and loved so much and Peter had been looking forward to it all month.

Harley stood a little awkwardly in the doorway, a big bag in his hands.

“You alright?”

“Yeah”, he nodded, blushing ever so adorably, “I just wanted to give you your Christmas present.”

“But it's only Christmas Eve! We're doing presents tomorrow morning with everybody!”, Peter protested. “Your gift is under the tree already, we can't exchange them just yet!”

“Just shut it, Parker. This is sort of for the both of us and I really want us to have it now.” He held the paper bag out to Peter, who was too damn curious to argue it any longer.

The bag felt soft, squishy, had to be some fabric. “Please tell me, those are matching Christmas sweaters”, he giggled as he opened the bag and yes, they were.

“Omigod, Harley, I love Christmas sweaters!” He got the red and blue sweaters out, hppy to see his Spider-Man colours. There was a smaller one, that had to be his. Framed by stars and baubles and shit it said: 'SUPERHERO'. The bigger one, probably Harley's then, said: 'HIS DAMSEL IN DISTRESS'.

“Please, like you'd need me to save your ass, Keener”, he grinned over after reading them.

Harley just looked completely exasperated and somewhat aghast.

“What? Did I miss something?” Why did Harley look like Peter was an idiot?

“Yeah, you did”, Harley rolled his eyes and walked up to Peter, closer, until they were almost touching. “You're a superhero fan, you figure it out.”

The way Harley stared into Peter's eyes, he could barely think a proper thought, well, any other than _fuck, I'd like to kiss him now._ But he could figure this, apparently very obvious thing, out. Superheroes and their damsels... There was Superman and Lois Lane, The Flash and Iris West and oh.

Harley was saying he was Peter's damsel, his love interest.

“Really?” Peter beamed at Harley, who smiled back even wider.

“Yeah. I officially want to be your damsel. And...”

Peter didn't really bother waiting to hear the rest of the speech, not now at least. With all the white noise in his head, he wouldn't be able to grasp any of it anyway, so instead he got on his toes and pressed his lips against Harley's. After a shocked moment, Harley's lips twitched into a smile as he kissed Peter back, lighting up all the fire works.

.

It took them another fifteen minutes, but finally they made it to the common room, in their matching sweaters, fingers intertwined. The knowing grin, Tony, May and all the Avengers shot them was clear enough an indication that they didn't need to bother with an explanation; their get-up was enough of a statement. And so was, when Peter pulled Harley under the mistle toe.

The new year was gonna be just right.


End file.
